While reading an article about feeding by a good friend of mine, I was thinking about it and realized that I’m a very lucky vamp. I am in an envious position where I have almost unlimited supplies of ambient energy to feed on, so much so, that most of the time I feel totally ‘normal’ and can almost forget that I’m a vamp…..almost, but not quite. This is a bit what the hunger is like for me as a psi vamp.
Mostly I am on a bit of an energy high, in a good mood, feeling positive and all at ease with the world, then suddenly it can all come crashing down. Its almost like a curtain falls over my face, my smile fades, I get suddenly quiet and tired, my head pounds with a headache, my mood becomes erratic and my temper flares at the slightest thing. I become almost like a demented person and even a normal conversation with me can be fraught with aggression. I usually then prefer to avoid people, rather than end up having huge arguments for no reason. Not only that, but I will salivate at the mere mention of blood in a conversation, even though blood isn’t my source of feeding.
Weirdly, at times like that, even though I need energy, I seem to have no interest in feeding. I withdraw into myself and become morose, pushing away the very people who could sustain me. I’m not sure why its like that, but its then that a few special friends tend to sense my problems and will pressure me to feed. Its at times like that, that I need to be extra careful when feeding, so as to not take too much energy. Its like eating when you have been without food for the day, you just want to take as much as you can as quickly as you can and that can leave the other person feeling drained.
What is amazing is how suddenly the change occurs, its not the gradual wearing off of energy you’d expect it to be, its like the flip of a switch, one minute I’m fine and the next I’m like the ogre under the bridge. I’m not sure it happens that way with other psi vamps, but it does with me. The reverse is the same, as I take in energy, its like the whole process is reversed, I can almost feel the tension easing out my body and my smile miraculously appears on my face again and once again, all is well in my world.
So are the days of my life…..