This week an apparent lampoon website came to the attention of the South African Vampyre Community. Taking the form of a Facebook “page”, and sporting the logo of the Ghost Busters movies, Ghost Spotter East London claims to act against occult and supernatural forces in the East London area. Of course, since this group also posts reports about apparent observation and infiltration of supposed “vampire houses” in East London, we couldn’t resist taking a closer look at it.
The group description reads: “We are a paranormal community intent on solving some of the greatest hauntings in East Londons history. We have sucessfully solved over 300 cases of alleged hauntings. We excorsize and rid homes of the dead and the long forgotten. We are swift and ruthless. With one foot in our dimension and the other in the deads… we are the Ghost Spotters!” Entertaining spelling and grammatical errors aside, the group first came to our attention when some community members stumbled across it, and said – “you’ve got to see this!” And so we did.
Several posts made by the anonymous creator of the group, including one sporting a map of East London with a poorly drawn red pentacle superimposed over it, makes wild and boastful claims about a ‘vampire house’, a ‘satanic vampire church’, infiltration of said ‘vampire house’, and that ‘thanks to the support of the community’ this would be “going down” shortly.
“SATANIC INFLUENCE CHART” is scribbled on the map in the fashion of a pre-teen scrawling “PRIVIT” on their bedroom doors in crayon. Other posts refer to an enigmatic entity named “the Gonubie Vampire”, presenting a really strange and amusing picture of someone wearing fake fangs, contacts and make-up, presumably for a recent Halloween dress-up.
Public comments on the group and its numerous far-fetched posts range from mild annoyance to outright mirth.
Making bemusing references to “scientific data” to support their claims (which is never presented, even on request – and always in capital letters, the creator of the group posts comments like: “END OF THE WORLD 21ST DECEMBER. FACT OR FICTION? OUR SCIENTIFIC DATA SAYS FACT. BE PREPARED.” and “AFTER AN ALL NIGHT STAKE OUT OUTSIDE A WELL KNOWN SATANIC CHURCH OF VAMPIRES, IT HURTS ME TO SEE THE TAUNTING HERE.” One of the more silly posts on the page reads: “AFTER AN INTENSE INVESTIGATION FROM A TIP OFF FROM ONE OF OUR MEMBERS WHO LAST SAW THE GONUBIE VAMPIRE ON THE DREADED 6TH AVENUE ALSO KNOWN AS DEVILS AVENUE TO SATANISTS. WE HAVE PROOF ON THE MAP BELOW. PLEASE SHARE THIS AND MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS ON HIGH ALERT AND AVOIDS THE AREA UNLESS THEY WANT TO FALL VICTIM TO VAMPRIRES!!!”
Members of the community find sites and Facebook groups like this amusing, but also frustrating and annoying, because while humorous to a degree, they also help to perpetuate misconceptions about the real Vampyre Community, and in a way help to fuel the hostility against us. At any rate, the community is not aware of any actual Houses in East London, so this claim (along with the site and the “group” it represents, is most likely bogus – probably a watered down version of the “God Hates Goth” website and concept. Most typically those who make sites like this have no idea that real Vampyres do exist. Perhaps that is a good thing.
Whether the creator of this page set out to while away his or her boring existence by creating a lampoon site to send up religious fundamentalist lunatics who perpetually wax hysterical about “Satanists”, “witches” and “vampires” – or if they are just immature bored kids on a mission to attract attention – or if they are seriously deluded individuals convinced of what they are saying, isn’t immediately clear – but if the public comments are anything to go by, it’s no wonder they are frustrated and always apparently SHOUTING.
A few in the community have suggested dropping a link to the Vampyre Culture site on the page, just to see what would happen, but of course, that might cause a little more drama than desired. Still, if you feel like a good chuckle, head on over to the Ghost Spotter. If you don’t sparkle, you will probably be quite safe.