In The Picture: Movie Reviews – by Nadine

This week’s review: Ted

Being totally oblivious of what was to come, we started watching this film on the understanding that it was a family movie with a cute bear…

And then …

We had to switch it off.

Not only am I fairly sure my gran would be praying extra hard for us in church this week but I had to redirect my 5-year olds opinion on teddy bears as I’m sure she is mentally scarred for life.

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While Ted seems all too cute and cuddly he actually ends up being an overly flowery foul-mouthed; dope smoking; hooker loving brat. Understanding the idea for Seth MacFarlane’s boundary pushing brand I was expecting animated comedy. Honestly though, while there are some really – really funny parts and it got a good 80% rating on rotten tomatoes – I’d mark it for 16 SL and up only.

Ted – the bear was created from a wish made by John (Mark Wahlberg) on Christmas – eve. The story pretty much tries to reflect on true friendship, brotherly love, drugs and sex. John grows up and meets a girl who stays with him for four years. In an attempt to further their relationship Ted has to move out.

If you like films that have loads of repeats on crude and profane language – this one would be right up your alley. Ted not only writes the book on the different tones of the f – and – s – words but also cashes in with what should be acknowledged as weird comedic violence when you look at the sexual references.

Look to be totally fair here – if you are between the ages of 16 and 25 you might love sitting through this type of film. The plot wasn’t something new so without Ted being cuddly and cute it might not have gotten any reviews.

Having said that, my husband always reiterates that provided a movie makes you laugh at least three times one should be happy to confirm it as comedy.

My checkbox:

  • Made me laugh tick.
  • Made me blush – absolutely
  • Made me close up my kids’ ears and reach out for the remote – abso- fricken – lutely.

Ratings: 2 out of 5 for me – but that might just be – because I’m all grown up.


About Octarine Valur

Octarine Valur - Founder: House Valur, South African Vampyre Community, South African Vampi(y)re Alliance (SAVA), SA Vampyre news (SAVN). View all posts by Octarine Valur

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