First Contact Situations, What To Expect, And How To Handle Them – by Val

In the modern Vampyre Community, most groups tend to set a minimum age limit for participants. The most usual reason given for this is safety, and from what I can tell, it seems this limit is more often set at 18 years. Some set entry requirements at 21 years, and a few (probably just to be funny) even at 25. But why is there such a limit? What is the need for it? IS there a need? This article will address the kind of risks that may be posed when underage persons approach the Vampyre Community.

Kids. Many Vampyres – like most people, love them. So do I, believe it or not – though they can sometimes be a little tough and stringy, and get stuck in my teeth. Then I have to use floss and it gets very messy.

Seriously though, kids are a tender subject in many VC groups. Though we care about them, they are most typically excluded from our groups and the focus of our community, and with good reason. When one considers the predators out there who exist to do harm to vulnerable people, a group which includes children, it is no wonder.

We all know that we awaken in our teens, around 14-16 according to the accepted norm, although sometimes earlier, sometimes later. The truth of it is, we know what it’s like to be alone as Vampyres. We remember what it was like for us, and we want to help others like us. We weren’t all lucky enough to awaken into families which featured other awakened Vampyres, all willing to school and advise Junior in our ways. We want to make it easier for those who follow the same path we took. My advice for you is this – while it’s terrifically noble of you to want to help – don’t.

The ‘young’uns’ have carried on long enough without your help this far, a little longer won’t do any more harm. Helping them may do a little good for them – but could do a lot of bad to you, and even to the community.

The trouble is – what do we do when a troubled and awakening teen approaches us looking for help or advice? Slam the door in their faces, and pull in the “welcome” mat? Many do, and who can blame them? Not me. Nobody wants to be dragged into a melee’ by irate parents looking for the “culprits” who encouraged their teen daughter to drink blood or to cut themselves for a friend.

People are eager to label things they do not understand as “Satanism” and to nail Vampyres, helpful or otherwise. Nobody wants to be labelled a “danger to children” by giving them a pair of scissors and telling them to run with it – but when faced with such a scenario – and such a risk of potential disaster, what can we do? What should we do?

Kids are a dodgy issue. Every time I have seen a debate over setting up an underage group to deal with underage Vampyre and awakening issues, it has exploded into drama which focused exclusively on the risk of legal problems. Face it – there are plenty. That’s why under 18’s aren’t allowed in most groups. Not because they are “stupid” or necessarily “immature”. I have known some really mature 17 year old kids – and at the end of the day, at 18 I was considered old enough to have sex, manage a bank account, vote, drive a car, operate a weapon and to kill and die for my country in military service. It’s about the law, and the consequences any screw-ups may have for our community.

Say for instance, a 14 year old girl contacts you via email or Facebook, looking for information on blood-letting, blood feeding or even sexual vampyrism? Scary – but it can happen. What would you do? My advice? Hitch your skirts up and run like hell! Squeal like a girl if you want to while you’re at it. Or as some say here, “Pak toe met klippe, en bel die brandweer!”

When you are aware that the person contacting you for help or information is a minor, you could (or should) not really even talk to them at all  – and especially not about vampyrism, just to be safe. If they add you on Facebook and start bombarding you with messages about feeding, blood-letting etc, it’s best to not get involved. Rather be safe than sorry. Tell them to call you in a couple of years. Click-click, de-friend. If they persist, block them. It’s for your own good – and theirs.

You might consider referring young seekers to more public resources, accessible by anyone on the internet, containing general information (such as and to read articles there rather than (YIKES) to engage in lengthy email and PM conversations about blood-letting and blood consumption with a twelve year old! It’s asking for trouble, and although you may feel you are doing a service to a kindred spirit, it’s not worth the risk. What if you’re wrong? What if they aren’t really vampyric and are just obsessed little Twilight fans looking for their Bella or Edward?

People have been accused of pedophilia and child endangerment based on their association with minors online, often even unknowingly. After all, how often do you check the details of the “friends” who have just added you on Facebook? How do you know the “38 year old miner” you’re chatting to isn’t really a 13 year old minor? How do you know the “sensible” 14 year old won’t, after reading the material you just sent him, slash the wrist of a friend he hooks up with after school? You don’t, do you? Still think it’s worth the risk?

Should you help kids with information and coaching online, knowing the risks? I don’t think so. Why not? Am I being unfeeling, heartless or indifferent towards their need to know and to learn? Am I being unkind towards their needs, their awakening nature? No, I don’t think so either. One day, when they’re older, they will understand too, why we did it.

Other groups and communities may be allowed to influence, educate (or indoctrinate) and shape their youth, in camps, Sunday schools and other activities – but for us, the risk of persecution and accusation is just too great.

One day perhaps our community may openly and safely care for and instruct  our youth, if that day ever comes. But for now, today is not that day.


About Octarine Valur

Octarine Valur - Founder: House Valur, South African Vampyre Community, South African Vampi(y)re Alliance (SAVA), SA Vampyre news (SAVN). View all posts by Octarine Valur

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