When I first came into contact with the SAVC, it was because of things in my own life that made me interested. I made lots of friends and there didn’t seem to be any problems at all….well, I had no problems at that stage. As time went on, I got more and more involved in the SAVC and joined the SAVA. At that stage, I still had lots of friends and no enemies, but things would change.
As I did more and said more and became more involved in the SAVC and SAVA, I noticed a change. It seemed that the more I did and the more I said, the more I became liked and disliked. Suddenly I had not only friends but enemies and frienemies too.
My first enemies came about because some friends found out I was a Vampyre and turned against me, even though I was still the same person they had always known. This type of enemy I can deal with because I know why they are enemies and they make no secret of it. The more insidious type are those who are friends to your face but not behind your back, the ones that don’t like you because of who you are friends with, or are jealous of who you are friends with, or the ones you don’t even know – but they hate you because of what someone else has told them.
The reasons people do things like this, are varied, but among them I think, are things like jealousy, egotism, and hypocrisy. Some of the ‘positions’ that have come my way because of my involvement are not things which I sought out, but because when asked, I was willing to do what I could and because I did things which made me noticed (although not with that intention) and simply because of the person that I am.
In view of some happenings though, I have to wonder why anyone would WANT to be in a leadership position…. People do it because they want to help their community members, want to ‘do their bit’, want to help the community to grow – but the backlash from doing those things from the ‘enemy’ type of person, can sometimes just be a bit much.
I have been talked about, I have been accused of doing things I didn’t do and I’m sure a lot more things that I am unaware of and I sometimes wonder if it’s all worth it.
In ranting about the unfairness of stuff like this, I have been told various things, that I’m sure all people in leadership positions are told. Things like “if they’re talking about you, then you’re doing something right” or “Just ignore it and carry on doing what you are doing” or similar platitudes (no offence), but at times when energy is low and yet more shit is coming your way, it’s difficult to see the positives. Leaders in this and any community I guess have to be tough skinned, they have to stand up and do what needs to be done, even if it sometimes seems to work against them, they just have to keep on going. It’s not always easy, but can be very rewarding.
My close friends know that I rant about this and even talk about dumping it all on a regular basis – but through it all, the type of person I am, I won’t allow myself to give up, because this is a community that I believe in, it’s a community that I want to help grow, it’s one that holds some really awesome friends and some excellent teachers and wisdom that allows one to expand one’s insight. So to all leaders everywhere: just keep going, don’t give up, no matter what; to my friends: thanks for being the awesome people that you are and to my enemies, well…..