[Article written by Psion Valur] As an energy worker, I have had a fascination with energy for a very long time and that fascination has never ceased. I often wondered why I was so fascinated and over the years had a suspicion why, but never really wanted to look into it. I guess because if I looked into it, I might have to admit something to myself that I wasn’t then ready to admit.
Recently for various reasons, I have started exploring my shadow side. This exploration drew me into a few arenas that were different to those I normally frequented and one of them was the Vampyre Community. It’s not something I had intended to do, but when I saw a link to a vampire group in a pagan group I was on, without even thinking about it, I requested to join the group.
I did already know a bit about vampyres and that there were sang and psi vamps and I knew what both of those meant, but I didn’t know that much more. Being in the group was very enlightening and because of my interest in energy, I asked LOTS of questions and got wonderful and varied answers. All of this started the wheels turning again in my head, back towards the earlier suspicion of mine. I carried on asking questions and getting to know the people in the group and making connections with some. I was asked to become admin on the group which I accepted, because I was starting to feel very ‘at home’ there. Because of the connections I made and the feeling of being ‘at home’ I made enquiries about joining a Vampyre House. For various reasons, the Houses in my area were not suitable for me, so I asked about joining the House with whom I felt the most affinity with. I was accepted as a distant member which I was very glad about.
On the group I was in, things were getting really interesting and I soon realized that in some ways, a vampyre group was just the same as any other group on facebook. You get the general members, you get the ones you connect with, you get the wannabes who think they are better than everyone else with their delusions of grandeur, you get the a$$holes, who are a$$holes wherever they go and you get the trolls, who are just trolls *sigh*, some are obviously much nicer than others. On the whole though, this was a great group, with mostly awesome members who were only too willing to open up themselves to me and my questions. With a few hiccups here and there, my life in the vampyre group became comfortable and my suspicion came foremost in my mind. This was helped along, by various different members saying to me “Are you suuuuuure you aren’t psi??” (in various different ways). Now was the time for me to start being honest with myself. Ever since I first heard about and came across psi vamps, I had considered the fact that I might be one, but at the time, things were very different in my life and it’s not something that I was prepared to consider. Things in my life have been changing a lot though in the last year and I have come to realize that the person I was portraying, was not totally who I am. Yes, mostly it was me, but there was a part of me that I was subduing and that was the ‘shadow side’ that I was now exploring.
I started reconsidering the fact that I might be psi and armed with all the new information I had, I started looking back on my life and various instances that didn’t seem to make any sense at the time, but would if I were in fact psi…. I’m not stupid (although there are some wannabe’s who may like to think I am *sigh*) and all along I had kind of realized it a long time ago, I just didn’t want to actually admit it to myself or anyone else. Yes, I am a psi vampyre and that is when Psion Valur became her own person on Facebook. I felt more at home as Psion than I did as my mundane self and now, Psion is who I am. With new knowledge of the VC, I know that this part of me is not something that I will share with everybody in my life, but there are some of my close pagan friends that I wanted to share with, but I was a bit worried about their reaction. I really didn’t think it would bother them, because they are wonderful friends, but as this was kind new to me, I still worried. Of course I needn’t have, because they were all fine with it. I also had to ‘come out of the coffin’ to all of those on the vamp group, because most of them just thought I was another ‘mundane’ interested in vampyres. For some in the group, it caused no surprise J, for others, I’m sure it was surprising.
Having admitted to myself and others that I was a psi vamp, brought its own set of problems. I am fast realizing that dealing with energy as an energy worker and dealing with energy as a psi vamp are two very different things. I have realized now, that in the past when I was vamping out, I’d get very moody and pick fights with everyone in my family, which heated up the energy in the house, which I was feeding from – now that I am aware that that is what I was doing, I can no longer do it, because it just isn’t fair on my family. I also can’t really explain to my family that I am a psi vamp, me being a witch was difficult enough for them to deal with in the beginning and a psi vamp is not something they will understand. This means that feeding and dealing with vamping out, has become very complicated and as a result I have been rather moody, hot tempered and having a lot of headaches.
From past experience, I know that there are certain other energies besides human ones that seem to partially satisfy me and they are storms (which don’t come along very often) and the sea crashing on rocks (which is a bit easier). I also went shopping yesterday in a shopping centre while I was feeling very tired and returned from the shopping trip energised, so ambient energy obviously helps as well. I guess that even though I know a lot about energy, being a psi using energy is something I’m going to have to learn as I go along.
For those who enjoyed this article, I’m glad and for those who didn’t…………..
|PS: Urban Dictionary definition:|
Bite me – A taunting phrase, essentially meaning “I don’t care”, used to defend one’s actions, characteristics, or values following an accusation.
PPS: normally I just end off my articles with ‘so bite me’ which is just a catch phrase I use, but this time its meaning is the Urban dictionary definition – for various reasons.