Aura met me at work on Friday evening and we took the train to town together. Waiting outside the station for a cab to take us to her place, a dronk bergie stumbled across the street. Seeing us, he stopped and said, “Ladies… you make me think of… something… spicy.” It was the beginning of the most incredible night I’ve ever had.
When we got to her place, nobody was home. We listened to music, made small talk, and smoked. While she fed her cat and spaniel, I changed from my work clothes into my going-out clothes, and put my gothy make-up on. After our feed, we were going out clubbing.
Aura bounced through from the kitchen and sat cross-legged on the floor, holding her large silver spoon and looking at me suggestively.
“Here, in the lounge?” I asked, glancing towards the front door.
“It’s fine,” She said. “We’ll hear if anyone comes home.” I unwrapped a new blade and bandage, and put them on the sofa.
Aura’s dog, Crowley, bounced back into the room, very much like Aura herself. He jumped onto the sofa, sniffing my bandages. I quickly snatched up the unwrapped blade. “Crowley, no! This is not suitable for young dogs. Out you go!” She chased him into the hall and shut the door.
“You said you were gonna watch this time, didn’t you?” I asked Aura.
“Mmm, yeah. I dunno if I can.”
We held our breaths as I pressed the blade into my skin.
“Oh my god, ew, ugh!” Aura jumped up and looked away, covering her eyes. I laughed.
“What’s so bad about it?” I asked.
“I don’t mind seeing the blood, but seeing you actually cut into your skin… ugh!” I made a few more shallow cuts.
“Give me the spoon.” I held it under the cuts and scooped the blood up.
Crowley started barking outside. We heard a gate open. I looked at her, my face paling.
“Bedroom.” Aura said. I gave the spoon to her, picked up my jeans, and we dashed to her bedroom, hearts pounding. She gave the spoon back to me, still full.
“Why didn’t you drink it?” “I had other things on my mind!” We laughed nervously. Both of us were tense, ears straining for any sound in the room next door. I’d left my jeans and bandages on the sofa. After a few moments, we relaxed.
“It was probably one of the people who lives in the main house.” Aura said.
“How would we explain this if your roommate had walked in?” I asked, thinking of the bandages, jeans, razors, and the spoon.
“I don’t think there would be any reasonable explanation for this. We could say it’s a new form of drug-taking…”
“Doesn’t it hurt? I’d be crying by now if I was you.” She asked. I sighed, thinking of a way to explain it.
“I don’t think I feel pain the same way others do. It’s like, I feel the pain, but it doesn’t bother me. It’s almost as if I don’t register that this is supposed to feel bad. It feels neutral. Not sore.” She still looked confused. “I can’t explain it any better than that.”
Before I handed her the spoon, I dipped my finger into it and licked my finger. “Ew. How do you drink that? It tastes gross.”
“I don’t like to think about it as blood, I like to think of it as jelly… jelly before it’s set.”
“Jelly mixture is clear, and pink. That’s dark red and opaque. There’s no similarity…”
“Shut up, it’s worked for me for years!” We both laughed.
“But what about the taste? It tastes grim.”
“I’m not mad about the taste, but it leaves a really nice after-taste.”
I handed the spoon to her again. The blood wobbled like jelly. “Haemo jelly” She said. “Ew. it’s lumpy… beginning to congeal.” Instead of waiting for the spoon to fill up, I scooped from the cuts, and passed the spoon back to her immediately. “Try that rather. Better?” I asked. “Much. Tastes better when it’s fresh.”
We carried on in that way, scooping and passing, drinking and handing back, until Aura said she had enough. She changed into her full goth gear, and we called a cab to take us into the night, as if we were the two most normal girls ever.